The first question to answer is why are Jackie and I adopting.
I wish I could say that we were one of those extraordinary, great-hearted couples who had always planned on adopting, either in place of having biological children or in addition to it.
Unfortunately, I can’t.
Instead, we came to adoption like this:
After I graduated from school, we tried to start a family. Nothing happened.
We—Jackie in particular—went through a lot of tests and poking and prodding. In the end, our reproductive endocrinologist said that he felt we had a good chance of being able to conceive. He wanted us to try a round or two of intrauterine insemination, but pretty quickly move on to in-vitro fertilization (IVF).
We looked at the chances and the emotional roller coaster IVF would be, and we weighed the pros and cons. If we went ahead with trying to have a child biologically, our odds wouldn’t be very good: each round would cost us roughly $10,000, and the emotional and physical demands are difficult. On the other hand, we could take the money, apply to adopt, and be certain to have a child. It wouldn’t be an entirely smooth process, we knew, but we still decided that was the way to go.
Emotionally, I needed a little time to come around to adoption. Jackie was really ready before I was. Today, though, I believe that we are having a child exactly the way we should. Even if a magic fairy could wave her wand and give us the ability to conceive, I’d still want to adopt a little girl from China.
Plus, the difficult time we’ve had starting a family and the length of time we’ve waited have only made us that much more ready to have a child and that much more sure that this is what we want in our lives.
We’ve also realized, through other things that have happened in the process of adopting, that God already had this path laid out for us. We were a little slow to find it, but that’s our fault.
And now we’re finally where we should be.
